I've Decided to Talk

[johndyer]

I am a 35 year old man living in Western Suffolk County on Long Island, New York. I work in an industry closely tied to Information Technology. I have seen things, astounding things, that most people would not believe. I have decided that I want to talk about these things, thus I have found my way here.

I remember as a child laying in bed at night and seeing light descend outside and illuminate the area of the side of my parents house through a drawn blind and pulled curtains. The neighbors dog would bark at first but, after a minute or so it would fall silent. The light would remain for only a couple of minutes sometimes. Other times it would stay for much longer. It was only light, though, bright yellowish-white light seeping in around the edges of the window blind. I was so young that I had no basis for comprehending it. I just knew that it was strange and scary.

Years would pass. I was perhaps 8 years old or so looking out the back door of my parents home. It was night. As I looked out at the night, I saw what I can only describe ad a yellowish-white disc on edge with an almost cartoonish yellow flaming tail edged in orange fly at about the speed a bird would fly from the north to the south. This object was about the size of a dime in the sky. It moved beyond my field of view to the south and I immediately started crying and screaming for my mother, who was on the other side of the house. A moment later I again saw this object. Its orientation had changed. It looked like a disc laying flat at perhaps a 35 degree angle. It shot faster that anything I had previously seen from the south to the east gaining altitude until it was out of site. This memory has stuck with me my entire life.

Again, years would pass. I was in maybe 6th grade when I noticed a lump covered in what I would describe as scare tissue on my right knee cap. It's size was about that of a caper or, if you could, a BB sliced in half. I would look at it often wondering where it came from since I had no memory of skinning my knee.

Again, years would pass. I was a senior in high school. Boys being boys, I would go down to the local "make-out spot" with a girl I was dating. This spot, an unpaved road that stuck out into the bay in a particularly dark and poorly lit community where home owners typically could not see their neighbors houses when they looked out their windows, was only a few miles from where I lived. On more than one occasion, we drove down to the end of this unpaved road and parked only to blink and see that hours had passed. On those few nights, we would literally park the car, look at at the time and notice two or three hours had passed during which neither of us had any memories - completely unlike the nights where we got up to the normal things teenage couples often get up to in such places.

In August of 1994, I was off to college. The night before leaving my parents home, I was sitting there looking at the lump on my knee. That's when I did the unthinkable - the closest I had ever come to mutilating anything. I used an exacto knife to remove the lump. There was no blood. The lump felt like skin wrapped around something hard. I flushed it and went off to college a few hours later. I have no idea what it was but, I like to think it was just gravel or something that got embedded in my skin during some bike accident that I didn't remember.

I had a somewhat normal freshman year of college and moved overseas for my sophomore year. When I returned to the US, life was normal for a year and a half. My last semester of college, I again moved overseas, to Central America, where I would participate in a fairly cool internship.

It was in a Cloud Forest in northwestern Costa Rica that I would again experience some high strangeness. I was hiking with a female student who I had become friends with. We started hearing strange noises off in the distance and figured it was coming from some sort of monkey or other. I remember stopping at a very tall and wide tree with roots that stuck over 6 feet in the air at the trunk. That's where my memory becomes... dual? I remember seeing the tree, checking out the roots with the woman I was with, and continuing on our way with nothing remarkable happening. However, I also remember a man standing between two of the roots. He had short sandy colored hair and was maybe 5'9" tall with thin framed round lens glasses. He looked like he was maybe in his early 40's or late 30's and was thin in the same way that some people are just thin. He spoke to us but I don't remember what he said. He seemed like he was trying to be kind and would smile quickly every now and then. He was wearing a dark colored suit with a matching tie. In that line of memory, the man spoke to us for a while and we didn't respond; we then continued on our way. The strange thing is that the man looked familiar. I had seen him before, I was sure of it, perhaps in the village I grew up in when I was a child.

Again, years would pass. They were, in a way, wasted years of my life as I view them now. Sure, I learned new trades and laid the foundation for a successful career but, in those few years I never looked up. I never stopped to look at the world around me. After returning from Central America, I had developed an affinity with rural settings. While I would eventually work in a city, to this day I live in as rural an environment as I can and accept the long commutes.

I moved in December of 2000 and a couple more years would pass where I lived a normal life. Then my memory of such things becomes questionable. I don't remember, or have any notes, of seeing or experiencing anything unusual. But then I woke up one morning, rolled over in bed and was surprised that there was no one there. I remember wondering where she went and as I got up to look for her, there was no sign of her. But I knew this woman. I could picture her in my mind as clearly as if she was sitting next to me. She was short, just over 5 feet tall, in good physical shape and had blond hair that would fall to her shoulders although she always wore it up. I knew things about her. I knew about the things she liked and the things she didn't like. I knew her personality and her beliefs. I knew that I had been spending time with her but, she wasn't there.

Over the next few weeks, I decided to investigate. I had a very strange feeling that I wasn't comfortable with and was unnerved about that feeling. Something strange was going on and I didn't know what it was. So I did what I could. When seeing friends, I would ask if they remembered that cute blond girl I had met. None of them did and I would make an excuse like "Oh, I must have introduced her to someone else". A couple I was friends with went out to eat with me one night not long after this. I remember the dinner well. The three of us had a wonderful time. A couple of weeks would pass and the woman from that couple, we'll call her Milly, ran into me one day and asked about Cora. "How are things going with you and Cora? She seemed so nice". I didn't know who she was talking about and Milly said something along the lines of, "Cora, the girl you brought out to dinner with us a few weeks ago. Did I mix up her name?". I covered by saying something like, "Oh, yes, haha, that was Carolyn". The next time I ran into Milly, she didn't remember "Cora".

All through this time, I was spending more and more time alone partially because of my project load at work and partially because I was always tired and just didn't feel social. A few months after I learned Milly no longer remembered the woman, Cora, who I don't remember as having dined with us that night, I went to a local pizza place to grab a slice or two for dinner. It was night and the pizza place was on a busy road. As I walked in, everything seemed normal. I ordered some food, waited for it, paid, and started heading out the door with it. That's when I saw the man sitting alone in a booth with an empty plate in front of him and reading a newspaper. The man looked up at me and I swear to you that it was the same man I somehow remember not meeting in that cloud forest in Costa Rica. He smiled quickly as our eyes locked. I couldn't help but stop.

The man lowered his newspaper and, greeting me by name, said something along the lines of "these are interesting times we live in". He said other things but, I had no memory of them as soon as I walked out the door. The man looked like he hadn't aged a day and again he was wearing the same suit and tie.

I went back to the apartment I rented at the time, at and sat there thinking. My lease was coming to an end in a couple of months and that night I decided I would move to a different town. All through those few months and the following two months before I would move, my knowledge of this blond woman, this Cora, grew. Every so often my mind would flash part of a memory with her in it. I thought I was buckling under the stress at work even though I didn't find my work particularly stressful.

I moved two months after seeing that man in that pizza place. And as I type this, I fought the urge to write "... after meeting that man again in that pizza place". I moved out of that apartment a month before the lease was supposed to end. I moved in less than a week after signing a new lease in a new town almost 30 minutes away by car.

I became very interested in photography when I moved into my new apartment. I bought a DSLR and would spend a lot of my free time traveling around the island taking photos of seascapes and landscapes. I always traveled alone. Except I didn't. When I thought back to a trip I took on a previous weekend, I would sometimes remember the blond woman, Cora, being with me. Things became strange in the summer of 2007. You see, that's when I was spending a tremendous amount of time with Cora. I would get home from work and we'd spend a lot of evenings each week hanging out together. None of it seemed strange. It was as if she was always there and as if my uncertainty about whether or not she was real vanished. Sometimes I would have a moment of what I think of now as "clarity" and I would wonder if I was going crazy but, there was physical evidence of her in my home and in my car. I would find a loose hair here and there. There was an apricot colored lipstick in my car. While visiting me one day, my brother in law pointed out a pair of her shoes. She had clothing in my home and people at places I would frequent - the coffee shop, a local restaurant we ate at all the time, a cashier at a candy store out east that we always stopped in, would always ask about her when I was alone. She owned a sail boat - I knew specifically what kind it was, a MacGregor 26 - and we would spend weekends living on it. I have photos of the boat sailing past Shelter Island that I know I took from the shore when she dropped me at the pier in Greenport specifically to take photos of the boat as she sailed it. Cora was real. She was a physical living human being with mass and original thoughts, she had a job and I met her coworkers, she met some of my coworkers. We had been seriously dating since February 2007. But in September 2007, things became weird again.

In September of that year, her parents retired to Florida. I had met her parents. She wasn't comfortable with the distance and announced that she was moving to live near them. She sold the boat. I helped her pack her truck, a blue Expedition. I pleaded with her to stay but she couldn't. She said she knew in her heart that she had to go. I watched her leave in early September 2007. She got in touch with me when she arrived in Florida and that was the last time I remember hearing her voice. It was a turning point in my life. The woman who didn't exist proved that she did exist. Other people remember her. And I wasn't insane and had a clean bill of health.

Later that month, the sightings started. The first few things I saw were strange flashing lights that seemed to dance in the night sky at a distance. I wrote them off as airplanes or helicopters. A month or two later, though, my eyes were pried open.

I was sitting in my office with a guy I was friends with at work. It was around noon maybe. We were looking out at a building across the street that had just opened after a very long construction when we both saw something, something I will describe as a squared metallic orb, bob in the air above the tall tree's across the street. It was small but gauging its size against the trees it bobbed over and trying to estimate its size, it seemed like it would be large enough for 1 person, maybe two if they were crammed in. The object literally bobbed into view with movement that looked like a rock skipping across water in slow motion. It hovered for nearly a minute before shooting straight up at blistering speed. We bit our tongues and said nothing. We just looked at each other. Corporate offices for your employer is no place to shout about a ufo sighting.

I began looking upwards. I would pack my telescope and cameras and head out to vacant places at night simply to sit under the stars and look up. The more I looked up, the more things I would see. Things that I couldn't explain. I felt as if I was going through some sort of awakening. I started keeping a log of sightings.

In early 2008, I would see a black triangle flying from north to south, about the size of field mouse in the sky near Huntington. I started taking a different route home only to have a series of sightings of a very bright light night after night in the same spot. I wrote it off as a light on a radio tower "or something" until the 4th or 5th night, when I saw two lights in the sky about 50 degrees off the horizon spiraling around each other. Looking to my right, I realized I was in that same stretch of road. There was the bright light yet again. Only this time, I couldn't write it off as a light on a radio tower. It shot off to the south east disappearing from sight within a heartbeat.

A few weeks later, in Spring of 2008, I was out walking around my apartment complex at around 10pm looking up at the sky trying to decide if it would be a good night to take photos of the moon. I saw a man sitting on a bench. When I drew close to him, he looked up and greeted me by name. It was the same sandy haired man. He looked exactly like he did the other times I saw him. He smiled at me and said, "Change can be good. You should consider moving. Not far, but you should consider moving". I don't know why but, when he finished speaking I just walked away back to my apartment. The thought of questioning him, or of going back to confront him, simply did not cross my mind.

All through this time, I would think about Cora all the time. I missed her desperately but, she didn't answer e-mail and her mobile phone was disconnected. For some reason, I was looking for apartments. A few weeks passed. It was late May 2008. I was sitting alone in my apartment thinking about her, thinking about all those nights we spent on her boat, remembering laying there in the bunk with my arms around her as she slept listening to the water slap the hull. I missed her so much I ached.

A few weeks passed. Again, sitting in my apartment alone, thinking about her, thinking about places I could move to, my phone rang. The caller ID told me it was an unknown caller. I always ignore calls that the caller ID couldn't identify. No one ever left a message. But for some reason, I answered the phone that time. Her familiar voice greeted me. She told me that she missed me. She told me that she loved me. She didn't mention how her life was going. I don't remember saying much of anything. The call was very brief. The last thing she said to me was "I think change can be good. You really should find a new place, move". I remember asking her why she said that, I remember telling her I missed her. She said, "We will e together again". Her voice sounded certain, absolute.

I moved two months later. I didn't move far but, I did move. I've lived in that new apartment ever since. Again, for a while nothing happened. I grew into even more of a loner. I kept to myself. I went to work, did very well at my job, came home and spent all of my free time pursuing hobbies. I kept friends and family at arms length. Only a few months passed before I once again started seeing things in the night sky.

Set up on an ocean beach in Hampton Bays in the fall of 2008, I saw a brightly lit orb dance above the ocean water at night before firing off into the sky. I would see lights in the night sky, steady unblinking lights, moving along before making a sudden right turn without losing speed. I would put myself in situations where I was completely alone, late at night, often on beaches, taking long exposure photos of the night sky and I would see things moving around in ways that airplanes simply can't. These minor incidents continued for some time - about a year. It seemed that whenever I went out at night to photograph the sky, to capture ambient lighting in a single frame that made the photos I was taking look like they were taken in daylight. That's when I saw something very strange close up.

I was on a beach named Long Beach in Smithtown, New York. It was around 11pm and early in 2010. I watched as this object, I wouldn't call it a cylinder... it looked like a metallic craft similar to the shuttles on Farscape with windows running around the entire circumference, came in low over the beach. I was set up not far away however, I was far enough down the beach, to the west of the pavilion, where the parking lot was well out of sight and the street lights stood no chance of illuminating the beach.

On the horizon were the towers from the Northport LIPA plant to the west. Fireworks were going off a little earlier. Anyway, the craft. It came in low casting light, a non-directional light, around the beach. I was maybe 500 feet from it and I could see silhouettes inside it. One of them waved. This thing then moved off down the beach to the west and extinguished the light. My mind flashed to Cora. For the first time since she left New York, I felt close to her. I began jogging down the beach, leaving my camera and lenses behind, in the direction this object moved in. I went perhaps a half mile but, there was no sign of it.

My mood was killed. I packed up my gear and went home. I remember stopping at a gas station in Saint James. Oddly enough, there was no one there, the little store that was part of it was closed, but the pumps were still on. I filled up my gas tank and drove to the far side of the station to throw garbage in my car away in a trash can. As I dug through the car, clearing out papers that had accumulated over the weekend, my hand came into contact with a cylinder under the passenger seat. I saw that it was a tube of apricot colored lipstick when I pulled it out.

The site of that lipstick and the overwhelming... emotion... that I felt for Cora turned my stomach. I wound up tossing it into the trash can and continuing on my way home.

Again months would pass. I temporarily gave up my photography hobby. 2010 crept by and slipped into 2011. It was again Spring. I was heading out in the late afternoon with my camera gear for the first time in a very long time. As I drove, I wandered along roads weaving through Stoney Brook. I had no clear destination in mind. My car or my subconscious, whichever you wish to name as the culprit, brought me again to Long Beach in Smithtown.

It was late afternoon. I sat on the beach waiting for sunset. I watched as a group of kids came, horsed around and left. I watched as the few beachcombers who were out get in their cars and leave. Night fell. The water of the Long Island Sound were still, almost like glass near the shore so I set up near the high tide line. As the sun set, I shot photos of it. When darkness fell, I took some long exposure photos of the lights on the shore of Connecticut. At around maybe 9pm, the fireworks started to the west. I recognized the flashing lights on the towers at the Northport LIPA power plant, the fireworks were to the north and perhaps a little further west than those towers. I watched and took photos of them. After they ended, I sat on the beach for a while looking up at the night sky. I wondered if those fireworks were in celebration of some event that happens every year, if I was on that beach on the same night the previous year.

My thoughts drifted to Cora. I wondered where she was, if she was doing well - the same thoughts I always think about her. On that beach that night, nothing else happened.

I stopped at a diner in Smithtown on my way home for a quick burger. As I turned onto the road my apartment complex sits on, the clock in my car read 10:56. A moment later I slowed to turn into my apartment complex. Something in the night sky to the east caught my eye. I turned my head to see a formation of three orangish lights in the sky. The one thought that ran through my mind was, "Why am I always seeing these things?!".

I sped into my apartment complex and parked my car. Jumping out of the car with my camera in hand, I ran into the road and looked up. A huge triangular dark object hung low in the sky and was creeping towards me. Just then, a group of 4 young men exited the apartment building next to mine. Three of them continued walking to the corner while the 4th called out for me asking for a cigarette. At this point, this huge object was starting to pass overhead. I pointed up at and and shouted something like "That thing is right above us and you're asking me for a cigarette?!". The young man looked up and started shouting all sorts of profanities. His three buddies, who were about 20 feet away from him, turned to look at him. They then looked up and all three of them also began spewing a color array of profanities. I aimed my camera up and shot a picture. As soon as the shutter clicked open, I knew it was a waste of time. The camera was still set up for long exposure photos and it was far too dark to try to change the shutter speed and aperture.

An orange light sat in each of the three corners of this object. The light was a bright orange with a darker orange... halo... around each of the three "bulbs". There looked to be a "U" shaped light in the center of each one. This thing had physical mass. It blocked out the stars as it passed over head and it was maybe only 100 - 200 feet up, if that. As we watched and as those four young men swore and hooted, the first light, the one under the point at the "front" (or, rather, at the point in the direction this thing was moving in) went out. Suddenly the four young men stopped. I looked over at them. Almost robotically, they lowered their heads and quietly walked around the side of that apartment building in the direction of the other parking lot. I looked back up and watched as the other two lights went out. I could see this thing moving by watching in blocking out stars. I watched as it moved on towards high tension power lines on the far side of the apartment complex.

That's when I had what I like to call my "Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind" moment. I got back into my car and began chasing after it. However, I lost sight of it when it moved beyond those power lines.

For the record, I had never seen those four young men before and have never seen them since.

I started going out after dark with my camera gear regularly. For a week or two, nothing unusual happened. Then one night I was driving on a north bound road and came over a rise that was high enough where, on a clear day, you could see the Long Island Sound in the far distance. There were cars on the side of the road and people standing around. For some reason I pulled over. I got out of the car and walked over to the maybe 8 - 10 people who were standing in the shoulder of the road. The were all looking north. I turned and looked. There, above the ground in the distance, at a point that I would judge to be about where the shore would be seen in daylight, were four immense bright white lights. I stood there for an unknown amount of time - minutes certainly, maybe less than 10. We all looked at each other and got back in our cars. They were all quiet except for one or two hushed "what is that"'s. I got in my car and started driving north towards these lights.

Again my mind went to Cora. I don't know why. I went less than half a mile down the road when I saw the four lights traveling up into the sky one by one. At that point I again pulled over. I sat there in the dark on the side of the road for a few minutes and then went home.

I celebrated my birthday with my parents. Early May, 2011. When I got home, I looked up and saw how clear the sky was. I made a quick decision: I would grab my telescope and cameras and go to Robert Moses for some stargazing.

When I got to Robert Moses, I drove to the far end of the field where I would be alone. I set up my telescope and cameras and spent some time gazing at the moon through my reflector. There's something about seeing the moon close up that is quite simply humbling. When the moon finally set, I trained my cameras upwards for some long exposure photos. I keep my telescope in a huge Pelican case that's so large that it has, in its time, doubled as an improvised bench and table. While my cameras recorded the sky, I laid back on that case, tipped my head a little over the end so that all I could see was the night sky from one end of the periphery of my vision to the other.

By this point in my life I had decided that I really needed to do something about myself to get my act together. I couldn't explain a great many things I had seen or experienced but, maybe that wasn't so unusual. Maybe that is the mystery of human existence that you here people prattle on about every so often. And while I could retell what happened next in a more engaging and interesting way, I wont.

As I laid there on that huge Pelican case with my arms and legs hanging off it and my head tilted skyward, I quite simply fell asleep and had a truly unusual dream. I dreamed of Cora.

In my dream, I saw a figuring walking towards me across that field at Robert Moses. Nervous because of all the crazies who hang out in dark areas at night, I kept an eye on this figure as it drew closer. When it drew close enough, I immediately recognized Cora. She looked great. We ran to each other and embraced. I held her as tight as I could. We stood in silence for a while just enjoying each others embrace. We started saying much we missed each other, how we never thought we'd see each other again, how we couldn't believe we would allow anything to come between us. We were both teary eyed. The conversation was at the same time frantic and chaotic. I felt as if something inside me had finally come unclenched, that everything from that point forward would be alright.

But in this dream, she took a step back. She looked up at me and told me that she couldn't stay and that she didn't know if she ever could. She said to always remember her, to never forget. And then she ran off into the night. I woke up. It was a dream. Hours had passed. I looked around, all my stuff was still there undisturbed. It was some time around 4am. I didn't want to be there anymore so I packed my things and drove home. I thought about her on the drive home, any many times since. I still feel for her but, the pain is gone. I haven't used my telescope since.

My life became... normal. I started becoming less of an introvert. I started spending a lot more time with my siblings and parents. Life was *normal*.

But it didn't end there.

In late summer of 2011, I went on a trip to Maine with some friends. We were camping out near the coast. We decided that on the last night of our trip, we would build a huge bonfire in our campsite and have a big party. As we were setting up, I noticed that the camp site next to ours was taken. Just before dark, the man who was camping there camp over to our campsite and offered us some fish he had caught that day. We gladly accepted. I wasn't paying attention at first but, when I looked at the man he had my full attention. The same familiar sandy haired man who I had encountered several times over the course of something like 13 years quickly smiled at me. I was stunned as he headed back to his campsite without saying anything else.

As the night drew on, people from other campsites came and joined us. There must have been 30 or more people there each bringing food and drink to share. I was sitting in a camping chair near the fire facing the camp site next to ours that the sandy haired man had apparently come from. I felt out of place as a pretty fun sounding party raged around me. I needed to find that man and confront him. My life had finally become normal and I found that I liked that normality but, I had questions.

Then the man sat down in the chair next to mine. He greeted me by name. This time, I had full control over my actions. I asked him who he was and why he was there. One of the guys I was camping with took notice and said something along the lines of "I can't believe you two know each other! We're hundreds of miles from home" before going back to whatever it was he was doing before he noticed me speaking with the sandy haired man.

The sandy haired man seemed quite normal. He spoke about seeing Portland on his way up the coast and, creepily enough, how he knew I stopped to see the lighthouses there, too. He went on about tourist things he claimed to have done since arriving and just seemed to blather on about nonsense as if he was a regular guy on a camping trip.

As the party began to wind down, the other people went back to their camp sites and my buddies turned in for the night. I sat there with the sandy haired man for some time waiting for him to offer me something in the way of answers. I still don't know if what he said was an explanation or not.

As the fire began to die down, he put a hand on my shoulder and told me how good it was to see me again. He said he knew things were going well. But then he said something that stuck me. He said that just because you dream something doesn't mean its true. He said that there's a whole universe of experiences out there to enjoy. He told me that change can be a good thing and that sometimes when we let someone we really care about go, they come back. He stood, turned to me, pointed to the sky and said, "Don't stop looking up". He then walked off in a direction that lead him away from the campsite I figured was his. I haven't seen him since.

When I got back home, life continued to be normal. I listened to the sandy haired mans advice and haven't stopped looking up. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of something in the sky but, the things I see these days always seem rational. I've done a bit of traveling since then and plan on doing quite a bit more this year.

For those of you who didn't find this too long to read, I would imagine that you're sitting there doubting every word of this. Maybe some of you are wondering if I was just drunk or stoned - in fact, I've never done drugs and rarely have alcohol. This story is, to the best of my ability and knowledge, representative of my strange experiences in life. While I offer you no proof, no evidence, I also have no reason to make something like this up. I also cannot offer you any explanation for any of the objects I've seen in the sky, for the sandy haired man or for Cora. But, I do know that both the sandy haired man and Cora were real. Other people met them, saw them, accounted for their presence and existence.

I considered opening up about these experiences several times in the past but always chose not to because, and I openly and freely admit this, my story is too fantastic to believe. With that said, you either believe it or you don't. Nothing I can say will sway anyone's opinion. But, at the very least, by cataloging my known experiences here, I am able to enter it into some sort of record where you, the public, are free to consume it, analyse it, and either take my word for granted or chalk me up as a crackpot.

I will come back to this post periodically, at least in the near future, is case any of you ask for me to clarify any of this. However, given how these experiences seem to have dissipated completely, I'm interesting in moving on with life. That is the point of human existence, is it not? To stand at the summit of a body of experiences, survey the landscape and move on to a new horizon.

[drhypnos]

Very interesting. You definitley should be keeping a diary, daily. I am sorry you have to go through this and hope you find the reason as well as understand the purpose when it presents itself. Thanks for sharing.

[johnintucson]

Hello Johndyer ! You are a great writer and I want to thank you for sharing that brief overlook at your life with all of us. I almost thought I was reading a novel because this reads like a really good book. Do you ever write professionally? You should. I assume that you keep a daily journal for yourself and your wonderfully interesting life, these encounters are important to document, like you said. Cora comes across as extra-dimensional because of the odd way that you would remember her and at the same time not recall why you know her, etc. Time shift /dimensional delays of some kind? It must have been damned confusing at best for you to grapple with the uncertainty of her existence and the sandy haired man sounds about the same. Who knows - like you were told, keep looking up and someday this may all finally make sense and the truth will be made known somehow. I wish you the best !

John in Tucson

[johndyer]

Hello John in Tucson,

No, I don't write professionally. The closest thing I come to writing professionally is writing technical manuals for the things I create. I actually create/invent web based products for a rather larger corporation - which has always been my primary reason for never filing an official report of any sort: fear that it might jeopardize things for me professionally. It's something I feel is a real concern given the massive financial investment required to finance my team.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've written all of this out intent on telling my story. I always lost the nerve to click the "submit" button on any of the forums I've considered posting my story to before now. That's probably why this seems a little polished. I've literally rolled all of this over in my mind countless times trying to consider an accurate and understandable way. Even still, after rereading this my descriptions fall short of the reality.

I kept a journal of similar things up until last spring. It was actually a spreadsheet. I still have the file somewhere. It's one of those things that got filed away when the apparent need for it went away.

I can deduce what you mean by "extra-dimensional", in regards to Cora, however I'm not really sure that what I can deduce accurately reflects your meaning. Could you elaborate on that and "dimensional delays" a bit? The most I know about "extra-dimensional" anything is a basic understanding of parallel universes and what I've seen on Fringe. As for time shift, I'm again at a loss. Am I right in assuming that you're suggesting that she was a person from another place in time or some sort of parallel world?

It was pretty confusing at the time. It still is. After considering everything with a clearer mind over the last few months, I feel as if I've been piecing together parts of my life. There are whole other... dimensions or perspectives and experiences that I didn't get into. I... well I probably shouldn't even mention this because I'll probably sound certifiable but, I know there is something else going on. I spend a lot of time feeling like I'm waiting for something, that things are going to change unpredictably for me "again". I put that in quotes because I feel like it wouldn't be the first time that happened.

The thing is that about a decade ago I worked in what I'm going to call a research facility. I don't want to go into too much detail on that facility for the sake of preserving my anonymity here. Anyway, one of the things I think I pieced together is how I met Cora. I think I met her there. I remembered being with here at that facility. That facility was a major employer in the community I grew up in initially. I would often go there on weekends with friends whose parents worked there for various activities and clubs. There was a blond girl there regularly who looked like the girl in the picture frames that Cora's parents had in their home (which is a whole other things that I'm too tired to get into, since the place where I remember her parents home being is an undeveloped lot).

That, I think, hints at the one part of this that I find terrifying. There are gaps in my memories. There are some memories that seem to overlap each other. There are things that I can't account for and things that I clearly remember that no one else does. Returning to Cora, since she's the most glaringly obvious example... and then things like this happen. I have it clearly in my mind. It's right there, it's clear as day, but then suddenly I lose it. It just vanishes - the pivotal point I was about to make. I can feel it in my mind fighting to reemerge, thrashing in an attempt to reach the surface. I have no idea what I was about to type there. It was something about Cora... I'm literally sitting here right now trying to reach out to that thought and I feel like I'm fighting myself. Instead of pulling that thought back to the surface, I instead see memories of her. I see her at the helm of her boat smiling and talking to me. I see her at dinner sitting across from me at the local sushi place. I see her in the drivers seat driving on a trip we took to Mystic. Whatever it was I was about to type, it's gone completely now. Strangely, I feel tension between my shoulders and in my neck. But this is the sort of thing I face whenever I try to think back about, in this example, her.

Instead, I'll offer something else. You know Spaghetti-O's? They're those canned pasta O's with the label that clearly reads "tomato and cheese sauce". I used to eat the ones with the label that read "tomato sauce". I remember every detail of that label. I was the kid who read everything, even the ingredients on a can of junk food. The problem is that they never made Spaghetti-O's in tomato sauce. It's always been "tomato and cheese sauce" and, according to the people I know and even Campbells, the label has always read "tomato and cheese sauce". I know that's a weak example but there have been a number of... I don't really know how to describe this so I'll just say "bumps"... during my life where I felt like I was in an environment where many small details were different. I was always a very observant person. More so when I was a kid. But, there's still the possibility that I wasn't as observant as I thought I was and that I'm just flat-out wrong.

I wouldn't call any of these gaps "missing time" in the sense that this term is used in the abduction stories I've read or in terms of the missing time I experienced somewhat frequently during my senior year of high school. In fact, it's very difficult for me to place a finger on it exactly. Again returning to Cora since she's the most glaringly obvious source for this: when, exactly, did I become familiar enough with her to roll over in bed and expect to see her laying there? I have no idea. I couldn't answer that if my life depended on it. The problem is that I don't have a lot of memories about life while living in that apartment - with the exception of the last few months that I lived there. I have plenty of memories of work during that same time but, it's like my memories stopped on the drive home from the office for most of the time that I lived there.

Then there's the sandy haired man. I've taken to calling him Snuffy - after Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street. I remember when they introduced that character. Big bird was the only one who saw him for a while when he was first introduced until, finally, he revealed himself to the other characters. I still can't put my finger on when and where I first encountered him. I seem to remember him at the marina when I was young. This memory came to me the other day. When I was a kid, I took sailing lessons at the marina in my village. I remembered walking up the path towards the bandshell with a kid I was friends with, who was also taking sailing lessons, and passing this man. He was sitting on a bench and said something like "You boys be careful out there on those boats". I seem to remember him standing near the deli on the corner in my village and seeing him in passing. And the strangest thing, I think I remember seeing him at that facility I worked at as an adult. It was in the cafeteria. He was seated at a table on the other side of the cafeteria and I felt like he was watching the group of people I was with.

Sometimes I wonder if some of my memories are completely manufactured. It would be almost comforting to find out that I suffered some sort of head injury years ago and that all of these memories are my minds way of filling in gaps. Such an explanation would be entirely too easy, though.

Then there are times when I don't feel like I'm alone at all. Times like right now, as I type this, I feel almost as if there is some force pulling at my entire body, trying to pull me backwards. I feel as if there are eyes on me. I turn and look around but there's never anything there. This happens mostly when I'm thinking about these things. When I think of that lump that was on my knee when I was a kid. When I think about that triangle that flew in low over me. Even sometimes when I think about Cora. I'll turn and look around, again seeing nothing yet I feel as if I could slip through this world as if this world were a plane. With a blip, I would be gone for a while or maybe move on to somewhere else where almost everything is the same - a place where instead of having a glass of seltzer on the desk in front of me, I might have a glass of tap water. Where instead of owning a light blue car, it might be bluish-grey or maybe a place where grey is spelled gray or vice versa.

Don't we all feel that way, though? Isn't there some summation of this that could serve as a descriptive basis for a fundamental aspect of the human experience?

Something that you mentioned really interests me: time shift. I would assume that a time shift is described as an experience where the individual would blip into another time and space potentially during his or her own life time. When looking in the mirror, this individual would recognize themself and maybe only have a fleeting feeling that something is awry even if their reflection illustrates a significantly older or younger version of themself. It would seem reasonable to suspect that the individual may not be aware that they're even experiencing a time shift. I've never knowingly experienced anything like this although I can imagine a scenario where what I perceived as my past with Cora (again because she's the most obvious example) is actually my future. Up until now I never considered that, even as a mental exercise, or have any basis to suspect such a thing. We live in a universe of infinite possibility, though. I'll have to remember to game a few scenarios at some point in the near future. It might be fun.

John in Tucson, thank you for replying. I found your response to be very interesting. Apologies for writing such a long response and for veering so far off course with my ramblings. I wish you the very best!

[cowgirl]

I, too, have a lump on the upper part of my right kneecap. Mine is also about the size of a caper. I don't know where it came from and have no idea when it appeared but it has been there for at least 20 years. Also, I have a scoop mark inside of my upper arm that is a mystery as well.

[honeybadger]

johndyer, I enjoyed reading your story! You really could turn it into a book, you write very well.

Have you ever considered undergoing hypnosis? It might help you remember things more clearly and even bring up new memories.

Your story is fascinating, I look forward to reading more of your posts!

[johndyer]

Hi Honeybadger - I have not considered undergoing hypnosis. I'm not opposed to the idea, I just wouldn't know where to begin to find someone who would take me seriously.

[johndyer]

Cowgirl - you have the lump on your right knee? I checked my upper arms. As far as I can tell, I don't have any "scoop" marks. I'm not entirely sure what I'd be looking for, though. I'm imagining a semi-circular indent in the tissue below my skin. Is that assumption somewhat accurate?

What size is your scoop mark and which arm is it on?

The lump that was on my knee, I've read of other people who had it too but, I haven't found anyone else who removed it. When I removed it, I was left with a small - well, basically a small hole in my skin that healed really quickly. The think that was in the tissue I removed was a dark color. I would describe it as a flat cylinder whose top and bottom were domed - like a road Mylar (spelling?) balloon that's almost completely out of helium. It was maybe just over a half inch in diameter and kind of thin. There were three prong like things grouped close together on the edge. These prong like things were fairly short, with the smaller two equal to less than 1/10th of the diameter of the larger part of this... thing. It was very hard. My exacto knife didn't damage it when I tried to cut it in half.

Now the funny thing is that for years leading up to this, I just somehow knew that I wasn't supposed to touch it or play with it. I was supposed to leave it alone. I always felt scared when I played with it. At the same time, when it was in my knee, I would sometimes feel terrified - this always happened when I was alone and usually very late at night. Since removing it, I have not felt anything even remotely like that.

Have you considered removing yours? If you do, please come back to this thread and let me know if you found something that looked like what I described.

[pazuzu]

Have you seen the film Roswell?
This scene contains one of my favourite scenes of all time, it explains by Martin Sheen some of the questions about aliens.

It also explains about extra-dimensional and what it means, watch the clip, of course it's 'Hollywood,' but again, it's still very interesting.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-hRcHy2gh0

[touched]

John, thanks for sharing ! My name is Cliff and I live in southwest Missouri .

First of all I believe what you are saying is real . I dont believe you're a crackpot. On the contrary, you seem intelligent. You're also a good writer btw ,( I guess you heard that already), lol.

I know too well the difficulties you felt by writing this down,,, it isn't easy . In my case when I wrote my experience(s) down there seemed to be some type of resistance as if I wasn't suppose to be doing it but I did and that's when a huge weight was taken off because I started hearing about others who went through similar things and realized there was more to this phenomena then what I ever could have even imagined though Im still somewhat new to this stuff and have more questions than answers.

I too own a telescope ,,,astronomy is a life long hobby,,as well as chess and a few other things in life. Im now almost 45 and Im a grandpa with a loving family .

Sorry for the long reply but before it's over you're probably going to think I'm a crackpot,,,lol.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened in my life as far as sightings go until I was in my 30's and then one night I had a "visit". 3 entities better known as the grey type 2 entered my home . I said nothing to nobody for about 10 years except a select few,,,very few. Im almost certain I received an implant but it wasn't in my knee, this was in my nasal cavity.

I finally decided with hesitation and alot of feelings of resistance to go public and disclose this no matter what. I haven't regretted it to this day ( 2 years later) and Ive been met ( surprisingly) by understanding people who Ive now become friends with who are "experiencers" too.

The sightings started not too long after being visited by these entities.

While fishing with another person we witnessed an object zig zag at an incredible speed that our Govt. would only dream of having that kind of technology. That was my 1st sighting about 7 years ago.

Another one recently during the ufo flap here in Missouri during Oct. of 2011 I witnessed the orange objects that Im almost certain you were referring to when 2 of them hovered and danced nearby followed by an object with blue strobing lights that appeared to be structured in a parallelogram.

One more for now which happened recently was a triangular object that was high overhead that simply " vanished" on a clear day . Its things like this that make you say "huh"

I guess what Im trying to say for words of comfort here is that you're not alone ! Ive had to question my own sanity. The thing is though is when others around you are seeing the same thing then you know for sure that this isnt caused by a medical condition , which in your case and mine isn't the factor because of the fact that there were other witnesses.

I hope somehow this helps you in some way as others have helped me to try and understand that which is hard to accept . Pm me some time if you get the chance . Id be more than glad to talk further. Until then,,,take care, cherish, and enjoy life !

Cliff

[astaralight]

Wow, what an intense story and so very well written! I had not heard about the film roswell. I'm definitely going to have to watch that one.

These life experiences must have been so very intense for you, and I believe every word of it.

What I'm getting at with posting the below videos would be some sort of potential timeline thing. Such things I don't really have much knowledge of, but thought that mayyybe it could be potentially related to your experiences.


I recently ran across some videos on youtube - interviews by Project Camelot with Dan Burisch projectcamelot.org/dan_burisch.html

This page better explains his story: projectcamelot.org/dan_burisch_summary.html

I think I watched a total of 5 starting with this one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhK3Os_eE4g and also this one which is more of a "nutshell" short version: www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYyEhKlVLWM

I also watched this video several months ago. An interview with Ex Navy Seal Bill Wood: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HS94H8nwa1k

[johndyer]

When I first posted on this forum, I sincerely expected to be considered crazy by those who read my story. Certainly severe psychological disorder is a more plausible explanation than what I've written here being truth. I never suspected that I would be treated seriously and I sincerely thank you all for giving me the benefit of the doubt. To Cliff and Astaralight, thank you for your kind words and for sharing. I'll do my best to respond to you both in the near future but tonight, my motivation for coming here is rather different. Whether it's fortunate or unfortunate, I have an update.

It's been almost a year now since that trip to Maine. I took his advice and kept looking up. Life became very normal. I began to fall into routine. I relaxed. I even came here to tell my story last February. I came back here from time to time to see if anyone had asked any questions. I got busy with living life and February turned into March and March into April. All the while, the events I documented here seemed further and further away. By sharing them, they became less pronounced, less... real.

I took a new job, a big step up in my career. I did some traveling during that time. Then one day something happened. I was sitting at work one morning in early April when things suddenly changed. I watched as my full schedule of meetings on my Outlook calendar suddenly morphed. Everything became rearranged. My coffee cup was suddenly empty and off in the corner where I keep it when it's not in use. I knew what it was immediately. This was the first time that a shift was so pronounced for me. I actually witnessed it as it happened. Several small details, nothing major, had changed. My schedule, quantities of disposable things I keep an eye on at work, minor things. A good friend of mine was suddenly dating a woman he had met for 4 months although I have no memory of meeting her and I distinctly remember him losing her number when they first met. I came home, not much was different. I immediately set about organizing everything, putting everything away where it belongs. For several days I kept a tight ship in my home hoping that it would make changes easier to spot.

A few days passed. I had fallen asleep at my desk in my apartment and woke up suddenly. It was still early evening, maybe around 8pm. The tablet I had been using was no longer there (I later found it in my bedroom) and my PC was turned on even though I had no memory of turning it on when I got home that afternoon.

Trying to reorient myself, I found I had several voicemail messages. I didn't bother listening to them. Instead, I went to lay down in bed. I was feeling very disoriented which was making me feel apathetic about things being different again. The next day was the last day Saturday of April. I remember this very specifically. I had been up for about an hour fighting with my coffee machine which had decided to stop working. Someone outside was honking their horn and shouting and my phone started ringing.

I was in a foul mood. I picked up the phone and before I could say 'hello', heard a voice - a familiar voice - shouting my name in the phone. "Come outside! Come outside!" I parted the veritcal blinds covering the sliding glass door that looks out onto the parking lot as my brain caught up with what I was seeing and hearing. I knew who owned that familiar voice and I found myself completely incapable of speech as I looked out over my patio at her. There parked along the curb with a cellphone pressed against her ear and waving was Cora. She had a car packed with her things. We looked at each other, it felt like hours. She was 30 feet away from me and after everything that had happened, she was there. She was actually there.

I remembered reading a response to my original post that suggest something about extra-dimensional beings or crossing alternate realities or dimensions. It's a concept I had spent a lot of time considering earlier this year. Glancing over the responses now, it's either been deleted, or stopped existing during what I now call "shifts", or I'm simply missing it. It's late at night, perhaps I'm just missing it.

As the story went, Cora was moving back to the Island. We had talked about it - or the me of this timeline talked about it with her - and we decided "being apart was too difficult" and that "we can't allow anything to come between us".

Skipping the mushy stuff (the tears, the hugging, etc), things settled down after a few days. Despite everything I feel about her, I was cautious with her. After all, each time we had been together in the past, she was taken away from me. I didn't ask any questions for several days. I just went with the flow. I played my part as I was intended to. She took the bed, I took the sofa. About a week later she came to me in the middle of the night. I wasn't sleeping anyway. That's when we finally diverted from the script of "what was expected to happen".

I didn't warm to the idea of talking about things at first. I waited for her to give me some sign that the past I remembered was the past that she remembered. She finally said something along the lines of, "I asked you to never forget me but, I feel like you have". Those words drudged up a memory, I don't remember if I discussed it here previously (and it's really too long a tangent to go into now), but I knew then that maybe things weren't all so different between us.

We talked all through that night, mentioning things we remembered doing together. There were some things I asked her about - Snuffy, for example - which she claimed to have no knowledge of. And things that she asked me about - standing on a beach late at night looking up at her shilouette (she didn't go into more details) - which I claimed to have no knowledge of, and as I knew I was lying to her, I suspected she was lying to me about Snuffy. There were things we were not allowed to discuss. We both knew it and we both understood there were things we were keeping from each other. That mutual understanding, though, lead to trust. However strange that might sound.

After that night, we fell back in step with each other. All through May and June, we came home from our jobs, lived our lives, fell asleep in each others arms each night. It was the first time in a very long time that I remembered feeling happy. We did some traveling, we talked a lot about whatever it is that's happening to us. And that is why I am here. To document what we suspect for this timeline so that, once I've shifted and the me of this timeline moves on with life, there will be some record of this even if that version of me has had no such experiences. These things are as follows:

1. We both feel that the timeline shifting idea is a characteristic of what we experience.
2. We both admit to having "different friends", "friends like normal people don't have", "friends who might not actually be friends".
3. We share memories of all of our previous experiences together - the last time we were allowed to live a normal life. But some of our experiences "together" before then - small things such as people we both knew, people who claimed to have met the other of us, etc, do not necessarily align.
4. We both understand that there is something out there, something menacing, that has expressed interest in us as individuals. She, too, once had a lump on her knee when she was young. And she, took, removed it herself.
5. We both have had reoccuring encounters with a distinct individual who has given us advice and cryptically referred to our circumstances. For me it's Snuffy. Her "friend" also has sandy colored hair but, is a woman. She hasn't named this individual (maybe I'll go more into that later). I've caught her trying to communicate something about Snuffy but, she always loses track of what she's saying and denies knowing him.
6. We have both been witness to fantastic things.
7. She spent time "away from here" and says that she cannot go into details about it because of a promise.
8. Deep down we are both very frustrated. Deeper down, we are both angry. But deeper down, and this took us both time to admit to ourselves and each other, we are both afraid.
9. She, too, experiences shifts. She was more proactive than me and saught medical attention for them for years, believing she had blood pressure issues or some medical issue. She is in perfect health.
10. We have both been mysteriously healed.
11. We both knew an individual with a name very similar to the name I use as a user name here to protect my anonymity. We both have different memories of what happened to him. I remember him being diagnosed with cancer, given 6 months to live and only lasting 2 of those months. She remembers him succumbing to kidney failure caused by "his long struggle with systemic lupus". I might go more into this later.

Over the course of something like two months, we established these points as commonalities and/or "best guesses". The reality is that despite these best guesses, we are pawns and neither of us really know what's happening.

As I was saying, we were living a normal life together. We both kept looking up but, never saw anything unusual or unexpected. But things change. Nothing ever stays the same. What is a fact one day is fiction the next day. Given the larger picture, there are only a few constants and those are the things that both of us remember. The very end of June of this year was a turning point.

We had rearranged the bedroom. We moved the bed along the longer wall away from the windows. I mention this specifically because of what happened next. For some reason I feel as if that was a catalyst in some way. When we would go to bed, we'd turn the lights off in the apartment and put the tv in the bedroom on. We both enjoy falling asleep to a movie every night so the only light in the apartment when we go to bed comes from the tv, a nightlight in the bathroom off the bedroom and the faint slimmer of light from a nightlight in the kitchen. I was sound asleep... and I'm going to take a moment to consider whether I should even write about this as it's just so implausible...


I'm going for broke here. Feel free to disbelieve this and if it damages any credibility that I may have in the eyes of this community, then so be it. I'm not asking you to believe this. I leave that up to a choice that you, as the reader, will make for yourself given the sum of everything I have communicated in this forum.

I was woken from sleep by a blood curdling scream. Cora was curled up in bed with the covers pulled tightly to her chest and her back to the headboard. She was screaming as if she were being murdered. I sat up looking at her and then, to what she was staring at in horror. There was a... thing... standing in the doorway to our bedroom. It stood about as tall as an average person. I could make out no details aside from the silhouette - thin arms, thin legs, thin torso, large head. I felt... not fear. It wasn't fear. What I felt, that feeling, didn't belong to me. Malice. I would probably describe it as some twisted form of "indifferent malice". But then we weren't in our bedroom at all. We weren't even together. I was standing on my patio face to face with Snuffy. We were standing uncomfortably close to each other. It was the middle of the night. Snuffy was dressed in the same suit I always saw him in with the exception of that time in Maine. He was smiling at me as if he was greeting an old friend, or had just given an old friend an incredible gift. He had been talking to me but I don't know about what. I was disoriented. I remembered being in bed and seeing that thing in the doorway but I felt like it didn't matter. Snuffy was going on about something but I only was able to focus on his words when he nudged me and asked me if everything was alright. I just looked at him. He had never spoken to me like that before - as if we were buddies - and that seemed somewhat strange to me. He said to me something like, "So as I was saying, I hope you enjoy your trip to the North Fork. I'll see you when you get back in a couple of days". He then just turned and walked away. Then Cora joined me on the patio. We agreed we had to get to bed to be rested for our trip the next morning.

So we spent the last few days of June and the first day of July on the North Fork. We went to the vineyards. We had a normal time. I spent entirely too much money on cases of wine. We came home knowing that we had to pack and leave that same day for our 4th of July trip upstate. We came home when we were supposed to, packed our camping gear and met some friends up in Dutchess County. We had a wonderful trip. We came home and went on with life, both aware that both trips seemed like things we had no choice about. We didn't object to them but, we had no memory of planning them. During the trip to the North Fork, it simply didn't occur to us to discuss what had happened the night before that unexpected trip. During the trip upstate, we discussed it privately. We had both met our sandy haired friends the night that thing stood in our bedroom doorway.

And then, about two weeks after we returned from upstate, we both woke with lumps on our right knees. We both had a very small scar from our previous lumps, the remnants of our self-inflicted surgeries when we were younger, that never quite faded away completely.

As I write this, it occurs to me that life is cyclical. What is happening now happened before and will happen again in the future. I went 18 years without a lump on my knee only to wake from a seemingly normal nights sleep to find one again. As an aside, not appropriately shared but I don't much care since I feel tired and defeated, plus wine, Cora has great legs and it's frustrating that someone or something would go and stick a lump on her knee that's about the size of a pea cut in half, maybe a little smaller. It's like painting a beard on the Mona Lisa. It's vandalism, on top of whatever sinister purpose that lump would serve.

Something else that might be interesting is that we both woke up knowing the knee lumps were there. I figured I'd mention that in case it has some significance.

When things changed, that change happened in a different way this time. We laid in bed knowing we had to say goodbye. At least for now, we had to say goodbye. I've been drinking tonight and maybe my judgement is a little impared by sharing this since it only matters ultimately to her and me, but it all felt strangely familiar. I have no shame of it, I cried. She did too. Then it was time for us to go our separate ways. I took my eyes off her and looked at the alarm clock on our nightstand. 8:01am. The change was subtile, the time on the clock did not change (I might go into that in more detail later). She was there one minute on the bed next to me, the next moment she was gone and Snuffy was sprawled where she had been. Again he wore the same dopey smile he wore the last time I had seen him. I wasn't in the mood for him so I got up and left the bedroom.

At that moment I fully intended to return to this forum to document what I had been experiencing. I had fully intended to hunt for the contact information for the people who run this site and reveal myself to them even though I have no proof, regardless of the consequences. But when I sat down here in this chair and booted up my computer, I stopped. Snuffy was standing over near the doorway to the bedroom. He was no longer smiling. He was his old... not stoic, but... well, however you would describe his typical detached attitude. I knew then that however close I may be to taking matters into my own hands, to seeking the only sense of empowerment I'm left with by posting my name, my phone number, my address, on this forum and inviting anyone to come here and hear what I have to say, that I'm just not close enough. There are still barriers that I cannot adequately explain. Barriers, like sheeting, that lay between me and true freedom.

The saddest part is that Cora has been taken away from me so many times that I have lost track of the number.

Snuffy did his usual seer-like thing. I have been instructed to leave, to move. I must move by the end of this month. No matter what happens, I must be out of this apartment before September. I must stay in the general vacinity, not move out of State or out of Country. I must take absolutely everything with me. When I move, I not only have to scrub this apartment spotless, I must hire professionals to do so. I can leave no trace of myself here. I must change PO boxes. I must change banks. I must change cars. I must do everything in my power to change my environment and eliminate traces of me in my current environment. By so doing, I "increase variables" and "create options".

As for Cora, she's "away" and "safe". "She will continue being safe". I "will see her again". Why is this happening to us? "You know the answer to that". Who exactly are you? "You know the answer to that". When will this stop? "We don't know that yet". What was that thing that was in our bedroom doorway? "You must not spend time thinking about that". Will that thing come back? "Not if you're careful". Is that thing dangerous? "Yes". What happened that night? "You know the answer to that". Did you stop it? "Yes". Was that thing you? "No". What is happening to us? "You cannot know that now". Why are you always showing up? "Because I'm needed to". If I know any of these things that he says I know, then I'm completely clueless.

As typical, I was instructed to leave then. So I left. I got in my car and went out for coffee. Snuffy was gone when I returned. I almost always leave whenever I encounter him. Only rarely has he ever left first.

But you know what else? The lump in my knee was gone. When you look at my knee now, there's only a very small red dot.

Something else that was strange, different, this time was that after Cora left, people not only remembered but, they asked about her. I told them that she was called back to Florida and would be away for a couple of months. "Well tell her we were asking about her".

And as I type this, I feel that familiar pressure in my ears and that familiar pulling sensation as if I'm being pulled so very slightly back and up. Maybe this time it's the wine or maybe there's a shift coming. I'll finish this quickly just in case I wind up in the age of dinosaurs.

So now, my current status:

1. I'm leaving this here as testament to the points that I was going to make but cannot seem to get my hands to write.

So I live my life somewhat normally. I leave lights on at night and my sheathed katana in my arms. If my creepy visitor shows up unexpectedly in my doorway again, I'll be prepared to defend myself as I'm not about to trust Snuffy to bail me out. That bastard is, afterall, involved in some way with taking Cora away from me and that is a sour point between us. I no longer have her here with me and admit that I have taken to drinking the wine we stocked up on together. Those cases of wine are the only physical connection that I have of her here. They were very thorough when they took her, they didn't even leave any of her hair on the bed and I think I might hate them for that.

I've been looking for a new home. However oddly this might strike you, I have been completely unable to find a new apartment so far. Have faith, my friends, something will open up since something always does. My parents keep asking when I'm going to go visit Cora in Florida and when she's coming back (they love her), and I keep telling them we're trying to make plans. The reality is that I have no idea where, potentially even when

Got ya, I know for a fact that the time does not necessarily change when there's a shift. That's an important point in my current status. It means that whatever is happening to me, I'm not necessarily skipping through space and time. (For the record, I have to keep rereading that last line in order to remember what I'm writing about at this moment) That might be an indicator that what changes during a shift are the finite factors that have lead to the precise point that I arrive at. I studied something that sounds related to this theory years ago in college: complexity physics. The Butterfly Effect. Changes to finite variables lead to dramatically different outcomes. Dr. Edward Lorenz documented this in the 60's when noticing it while working with a primative weather simulation program. By abbreviating a value by removing the trailing zero's, hoping to "rewind" his simulating to observe a string of activity again, he watched his simulation unfold in dramaticaly different ways. Could this be what I'm experiencing? If so, why am I seemingly aware of it? If so, what are the implications of this? Does it indicate that I am shifting timelines? Does it indicate that the "one true world" is being altered? Does it indicate that I am shifting between parallel worlds or that the changes to these vairables potentially results in the creation of a parallel world?

Minute differences - should I make coffee this morning at work or will I not have time to? If I do, there will be three fewer scoops in my coffee tin. If I don't, then there will be three more scoops than there otherwise would have been. Will I sharpen a new pencil and use it to take notes during today's meetings or will I continue using the stub of the one I used yesterday? If I do, then that box of pencils will last me a day and a half longer than it would if I did sharpen and use a new one. Minute changes contributing to the quantity of disposable resources available to me when a shift occurs.

Snuffy, will you give me warning before you shift me? "Why do you think I'm responsible for that?". Because you're a suspicious sort of guy and we both damn well know you are. "I can't always give you warning and perhaps it's in your best interest that I don't". Why are you being so open with me? "Some think it's time to be". I was being sarcastic. He wasn't.

So now that it's nearly 2am, I suppose I should wrap this up on some way. To be honest, I really don't feel like stopping. I believe that my lot in life will not change unless I take some form of action to trigger that change. Doing what has been suggested to me has not improved my situation. Sooner or later I must be allowed to do my own navigating. As things stand now, I don't think I will ever get the answers I want and that I will never get to keep the one thing that I most desire: us. The "us" that is Cora and me. I really thought it was finally over last year. I really thought that it was over, that it had ended and for whatever reason we could not be together. Then things changed and she showed up here. We got comfortable. We began to let our guard down. We started thinking it was over.

What I'm left feel isn't loss, or fear, or anguish. I'm left feeling rage and each night I come home here and I quiet my rage with the memories of our last two trips together, when we were last allowed to live our lives like normal people. I'm left here to change my environment on my own at the behest of Snuffy the mystery man. I'm expected to do what he commands me to do without explanation or exception. And the thing is that I will obey. I will continue to play this game but, I will play it on my own terms. Because despite what Snuffy has proven himself capable of doing - tracking me across country, manipulating the lives of people including me, appearing out of thin air, dashing into the fray and saving the day the moment tue horror and danger is detected - as a flesh and blood creature, he is fallable.

Now while writing this, I mentioned several things that I might come back to later. Here we are at "later". "Later Phase One".

Some of this is reasoned conjecture based on what I was able to piece together. Cora's sandy haired friend has always been with her. The only time she hasn't was when Cora has been freed to live a normal life. Cora's sandy haired friend is apparently ageless, similar to Snuffy. Her sandy haired friend is much more open with her but, she made a promise to not share what her sandy haired friend tells her. Her sandy haired friend has her own name so Cora never named her as I named Snuffy. Cora and her sandy haired friend have a "solid" relationship. They confide in each other. Whenever Cora is not living a normal life, with me, she's living with her sandy haired friend. However fantastic this might sound, I believe Cora and her sandy haired friend do not always stay on this planet. She's made too many comments about how stars look in space.

Some of my experiences from the past, specifically memories I have without Cora, do not carry over from shift to shift. Sometimes a memory proves not to have happened in what I refer to as a "timeline" only to once again prove true after another shift.

And that is where I stop for the night save for one more very important point. I've become incredibly busy adhering to the instructions that have been given to me on moving and changing my life around. In some ways I feel I'm on the cusp of actually knowing something, of having something tangible in the way of an understanding. That is my primary motivation in listening to Snuffy at this point. I have seen Snuffy about a half dozen times in the last two weeks at various places, each time exchanging words with him. I have never seen him with this frequency before. This time last year, he was more of a shadow looming over my life, a harbinger or maybe herald. Something is happening.

As for Cora, I know I will see her again.

Now as for that last point. As you look at the building with the bathrooms at Smith Point beach, as you see it from the road or parking field so that it stands between you and the ocean, take notice of the right side of the building. You will need a metal detector. Use it on the ground along the right side of that building. If sufficient details don't change with this next shift, you will find an aluminum container with a screw top and a black rubber washer. It's the sort of container that sailors might keep aspirine in and has a diameter of about 1 inch and a height of about 1.5 inches with the top secured on it. There is a metal ring through a nib on the top similar to the type of metal rings on keychains. It's burried about 6 - 8 inches down (or should be, beaches change with wind). Do not open it there. Take it away with you to somewhere safe. Inside is some circumstantial evidence that will lend some credibility to my story. When you find it, keep half of the contents and submit the other half to a lab for testing. Post pictures of it in response to this post and, if I can impose on you, the lab results. I need to know if I'm right. It's been there for 3 days now.

[jojojenn]

Ummm....
Well...
For starters , I pray your okay and Snuffy didn't catch you trying to be sneaky sneaky!
I do hope you are not writing a fantastic Sci-Fi movie,
Congrats if you are,,,
Terribly terribly so so sorry for you if not.
I tend to believe the latter.
So I'll offer you my idillas or your ordealio
Perhaps someone (like an area 51 peep) decided to go back in time and change somthing that,
directly affected you,, or perhaps they looked into the future and they have to make sure you are at an exact place at an exact time to prevent some catastrophic event. ??
That doesn't exactly explain where Cora comes in or the ETs.
So I'll have a go at it that involves all.......
Perhaps,,,,,
Your sandy haired side kicks are Cora's parents,, whom are alien hybrids.
Being part human with human emotions and an even more human offspring wanting to have human experiences such as love ,, they would not deprive their daughter of these things. So they're trying to make the best of leading 2 lives on separate planets or perhaps universes.
Maybe the "thing" is Cora's "real" father (sperm donor / rapist) and is after Cora.
They found her and that's why she is stolen from you by her gaurdian/s and you are forced to move.

Lastly a question,
You wouldn't happen to be RH- by any chance would you?

[jojojenn]

Typo...
That was supposed to read.....
I'll offer you my idillas FOR your ordealios.

Thats what I get for trying to be funny.
I make myself look like an illiterate .

[Crusty Bob]

Moderators, can you remove this post to a fictional area? MUFON needs to monitor these boards a little more if they want them to grow into a useful, community minded, international tool for getting at the truth.
It took 5 mins or less of research to determine the validity of johndyers statements. As one of the above respondents stated, I paraphrase "Why, you should write professionally, you're pretty good!" Well, yes, he does write professionally as a matter of fact. There are many reasons why people present false reports.
Just as there are many reasons why some 'investigational phenomena' boards fail to draw the line somewhere.
I myself am not a Mufon member, I am a independent researcher who would not hesitate to use the 'Bullcrap Meter' a little more often than what Mufon does. Just because I am a multi-experiencer of phenomena myself does not mean I should suspend all disbelief!
As a matter of fact, I do believe someone first, until I find out overwhelming evidence against.